tonights story

Tonight is just another night , although I am fully aware of that some ridiculous force wants me to maybe be sad alittle; It is the new years eve , Persian way...I have never been alone on EYD..well now I am and that is OK cause I am a big girl or woman I shall say . I tend to get very very emotional just hours before the new year begins and therefore I decided to sleep in through the night and even turn off my phone maybe and sleep like a baby. This way I can start tomorrow like nothing has happened! We, Persians, have this belief that whatever it is you catch yourself doing on the minute the years starts shows what your upcoming year looks like pretty much..I don't know if I believe in that or not but even if it is true, what is better than sleeping..lol
In this regard, I have to tell you that my beloved gold fish(Nemo) died just days before eyd ..she lived for almost one year and I took care of her but......so, I went and bought another one. I didn't realize how red this new fish is until I put it in the jar ...or maybe Nemo had lost her color as she was aging and I got used to that melo orange color of her...anyways...
I was thinking, if I wanted to set a new years resolution for 1388,what would it be...couldn't think of anything else rather than what I came up with for 2009 , which is good...one less pressure I guess.
Listening to sara mclaughlin while I am typing is very soothing , just pored myself a red glass of shiraz too, cheers to all !
Closing my eyes, I see myself , see my friends , we're all in shomal ( north of Iran ) which looks alot like Hawaii by the way, it is raining a bit makes everything so fresh , we talk laugh play eat drink smoke dance ...everyone is happy ...it is eyd then too! It is not quite there and music is upbeat , we are all jiggling...we take pictures by the 7sin and pose funny faces one after the other...
In my thoughts I am not alone in a far far country ...distant from eveyone I love ...I am there ...I am with all the people I love ...as the TV guy says "eyd mobarak" , I jump in to baba afshar's arms (my beloved grandpa) and kiss him and stare at the tears in his eyes as he is handing eydi ( presents )
In my world , in my mind, everyone is still there ,we are all happily together. So who cares if I am physically alone?! I will sleep through the night dreaming and start tomorrow fresh and keep trying ! I promise...
Eyd Mobarak!!!